Welcome to My Living Novel

In my world, the plot is always thickening.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Down to Earth?

After two weeks of floating in the clouds, I have finally returned to earth to experience the monotony of mediocrity. I have no amazing adventures to share from this weekend, only casual encounters that I'm sure will be easily forgotten.

I finally met up with one of my Yahoo personals dates. As it turned out, he didn't stand me up last weekend. It was a misunderstanding on my part, and I felt really bad about being the cause of us not meeting up. Anyway, we had a few drinks and played some pool, and things were going remarkably well. I was really liking him until things started moving a little too fast, and his hands were going to places where strangers usually get pepper sprayed for going. Needless to say, I did not appreciate his forwardness and will probably never see him again.

And M-BMW and I couldn't get it together either. We had another frustrating night of dancing around one another instead of dancing with one another. I just don't know what to think about him anymore, and I can hardly expect to see anything special developing from the nothingness that we have now.

Gosh, I'm in a strangely pessimistic mood today, which is so unlike me. I think I just better quiet for now, and return back when my outlook of my world is a little more hopeful and a lot less critical.

Sunday, April 23, 2006


I had another amazing weekend, abundant with Latin dancing and boy drama. I was supposed to have two Yahoo personals dates this weekend, but both my dates stood me up! I still can't believe the bad manners of these men, but I guess that's what happens when you try to make a cyberspace connection. The relationship is so abstract and theoretical that it can never break free of the computer screen and become part of the real world. However, I'm taking these small rejections in good humor, because they allowed me to spend more time in my favorite salsa club, which led me to spending more time with the Most Beautiful Man in the World (M-BMW, kind of like a Male-BMW because in so many ways he is as priceless as a luxury sedan).

Anyway, my Friday night with M-BMW was a little awkward. We didn't even talk to one another, but played the most ridiculous game of who could make the other more jealous by dancing with other people. I think I won that game hands down, yet I could not rejoice in my victory because I felt bad about wasting my Friday salsa night making someone that I like jealous. However, I was lucky enough to be able to redeem myself Saturday after my Yahoo date didn't show up. I went to Ibiza again and this time was able to dance with M-BMW to some of the best bachata music I've ever heard in my life. Ibiza had a special bachata band flown in from the Dominican Republic just for the event, and the band made an already romantic dance even more sensual. The wavy bachata motion literally took me into a trance-like euphoria, and I was so overjoyed with the music and my partner that I had to censor some of my smiles so as not to seem too smitten with M-BMW.

On the inside, I feel so much for M-BMW, but I know externally that there is nothing special about our relationship/friendship/acquaintance. He's just like all of the other regulars that I dance with every week, but instead of analyzing every detail of my time with him, like I normally do, for a change I'd just like to allow myself to feel without rationality or expectation because expectation is what kills the beauty of the experience. With expectation you always wonder why things aren't happening fast enough, instead of seeing the slow progress that is being made. Every relationship worth having is worth waiting for, and for now at least, I have plenty of time and patience to offer.

(Oh, and I learned the most beautiful Spanish toast this weekend. The toast loosely translates to mean "To this beautiful life and to the hope that it never ends." I find this toast so lovely because it is just as impossible as asking for world peace, but acknowledges without conditions how wonderful this life can be, while only quietly alluding possibility of an end. So to all of you reading out there please raise your water goblets and coffee mugs. May all of your lives be beautiful and may they never end.)

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I Did Ask For It

Remember that research job that I was so excited about nearly two months ago? Well, at long last they finally offered me the job and as soon as my background check and application are approved, I could be working there within 2-3 weeks. It feels good to finally be able to exhale and relax for a minute, because I was getting a little overwhelmed with deciding what to do with myself. I mentioned nursing once to my mother and all of a sudden she has me picking up applications at the local universities and talking about how much of my tuition she is willing to pay. It was all a little too much, too fast, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to find myself in the shuffle.

Now, I have a new opportunity to distract me, and I’m nervously awaiting the chance to prove myself as the best research analyst anyone has ever seen. The permanent position that the company thought might be available fell through, so I’m stuck in a temporary one for one of their brief 4 month projects. Once this study is done, they hope to reassign me to another project, but that’s no guarantee. After 4 months they could put me back on the street without anything but a new company to list on my resume. However, I suppose that this uncertainty could be looked at as a gift in disguise. After all, this trail run is a safe way for both the company and myself to test the waters to see whether or not our professional relationship is a good fit, because as I have learned from my blogger friend Dee, getting the job is not always the blessing that you hoped it would be.

However, until both the company and myself are satisfied that we are a good fit for one another, I am forced to keep my current part-time job, which means 13 hour days for a total of 60 billable hours a week. I get exhausted even thinking about the magnitude of what I’m taking on here, especially since I’ve taken it so easy the last year, only working 30 hours week on most occasions, but I’ll just have to grin in bear it. It’s not everyday that you get exactly what you ask for, so there can be no reaction other than one of gratitude.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Best Night of 2006 (so far, at least)

I still can not stop smiling about how wonderful last night was. I went salsa dancing like normal, and I was honored to have the company of my good friend Barefoot in Blue. She always makes the night so much better and attracts some of most interesting people both inside and outside the club. When I'm by myself, nothing out of the ordinary ever happens, but when I'm with her, simply sitting in Ihop becomes a circus of laughter. We literally had boys passing us notes through the wait staff that said, "Check yes, no, or maybe if you want to go out with us," and Blue had one of longest conversations ever with a truck driver from Michigan about the motives men have when they approach a woman.

Such amusing events would have been enough for me to remember last night forever, but her good energy brought even better things my way. The man that I've been lusting after for months now finally got up the courage to talk to me through her. Evidently, I'm an intimidating person to talk to, and he felt more comfortable talking to me through with a friend shield than without one. I was so surprised about how timid he was. He told Blue that he's been wanting to dance with me for while, but didn't think that he was a good enough dancer and was afraid to ask. I mean how adorable is that. You can't fake that type of genuine humbleness and sincerity. I could have melted. And he's not a bad dancer at all. He doesn't always do the right steps, but I still love his style and the way he feels when he moves. I was especially intrigued about how rough and well-worked his right hand was and how soft his left was. I wonder what kind of work he most do that leaves one hand so soft and the other so rough.

And the man is gorgeous. I think that I may even have to give him the pseudonym of the Most Beautiful Man in the World, and demote my former most beautiful man in the world to Blue's name for him Designer Jeans. Anyway, the new Most Beautiful Man in the World is surprising tall to be Mexican, and he has the rare gift of being more beautiful up close than far away. He only looks mildly attractive from a distant, but when you get close to him and really look him good in the face you can see so many subtle details that are simply breathtaking to behold. I've never met anyone like that before, and I started to feel a little self-conscious myself because I have the curse of being quite attractive from a distance and a mess up close and personal.

Even more important than how he looks was how I feel around him. Although I was nervous to make a good impression, behind that initial fear was a feeling of comfort and a feeling of safety. It's almost as if I've known him forever without ever having to go through the insignificant details of actually meeting him. I've only felt this way once before and that feeling led to so much love and passion that it frightens me to feel it again so suddenly. However, it's just my luck that I get all excited about this guy, and then he disappears off the face of the Earth, never to be seen again. (I'm not exaggerating either. This has happened before). However, I pray that it doesn't, because I see so much potential here, so many things that intrigue me.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My 24 Hour Crush Revisited

I saw my 24 hour crush the other day, simply walking down the street, deep in thought, probably outlining the next great American novel or something amazing like that. I wanted to yell out my car window and say something amazingly charming and unforgettable, but of course I shyly slouched in my seat and let him past uninterrupted.

I don't know how, but I nearly forgot about this man that gave me "sudden uncontrollable muscles spasms" back in January, but I was so blown away to see him again. I mean what are the chances of that happening? Clearly better than I thought they would be because he hangs around the library more than I originally expected. I suppose that I could take a more devout interest in my public library, visiting it more regularly and inadvertently stalking my mystery man at the same time. However, am I really so desperate that I'm stalking libraries for people who may or may not show up or who I may or may not have the courage to talk to?

Perhaps, I should just let it be, and smile at the memory of my temporary insanity over this man because I surely didn't feel the same gut wrenching sensations the second time around. Crushes are such short lived animals and perhaps they are better left in fantasy form.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Las Vegas Highlights

Las Vegas rocked my world last weekend, and I'm still trying to recover from it. I lived so much life in such a short amount of time while I was there that I'm starting to wonder why I should waste my life with trivialities such as sleep. Two to four hours is all you need to stumble around like a happy zombie for the weekend, creating dozens of memorable moments and risque conversations that can only be found in the wee hours of the night. Like any good tourist, I went, I saw, I took pictures, and plan on sharing the highlights with you.

I started this trip with the naive hope of winning at least a thousand dollars and was sure that my next pull would bring me a jacket pot, but soon enough my excitement for gambling wore off as a fed more and more dollars into the penny slot machines.

I did eventually muster up the courage to play blackjack and roulette at the grown folks tables, and I did pretty well at blackjack, winning a whopping $14. However, I give all my winnings back to the house on the roulette table. I know that one day I will be able to use my psychic abilities to conquer that spinning roulette wheel, but currently I suck big time.

However, my trip was not solely about gambling. There were beautiful days, walking down the strip and getting mistaken for a newlywed couple. Apologies to my real Hubby, but for at least one day Ramone and I were the hot item. We also came to love our hotel the Stratosphere, which kept us well fed and entertained the entire weekend. It also has the most frightening rollercoaster in the world called the Big Shot. I've never screamed so loud in my life. That ride truly made me believe that I might die. I wish I could show you the photograph from the ride because it is the most hilarious shot ever.

Then there was a lot of drinking, and a little swing dancing on Fremont Street. I may actually like Fremont Street more than the strip, mostly because everything is closer together and your feet will not explode making a few trips up and down the street.

But there's more to Nevada than flashing lights and casinos, and I was glad that we took some day trips to Hoover Dam and to the Red Rock Conservation Area. It was so relaxing to get out of the city and see some mountains again. I haven't been around mountains like that since I graduated from college, and it was refreshing to be around something natural and non-artificial compared to the faux Paris we explored. We even did a little yoga at Red Rocks, trying to awaken our drunk spirits with an earthy tree pose.

Oh Las Vegas, how I love thee. You are definitely my new favorite American city, and I will even give you the number 4 slot on my favorite places in the world list, right after London, Barcelona, and Zanzibar. Viva Las Vegas baby, I'll definitely be back to see you soon.