Welcome to My Living Novel

In my world, the plot is always thickening.

Thursday, July 27, 2006


With all the boy drama in my life, I have conveniently forgotten to tell you about the best news that I've heard all year. I got the promotion at my new job! So no more struggling, no more lowly hourly wages, no more working 2 jobs. I now have the very respectable job title of Research Analyst II. Notice the 2 people! Yes, I've moved up a level, and I'm getting a fairly descent salary and benefits. Only thing I'm worried about is failing miserably at my new job. I'll be the coordinator of 6 research projects, responsible for making sure everything is complete, taking care of everyone's schedule, making sure all the doctor's and staff see the right clients at the right time. It's all so complex, but I'm sure I can handle it. I always go into every job with the same impending sense of doom, yet somehow it always works out, so I know that at least statically speaking that the same will be true of this job.

But I can't just leave you hanging on my boy drama issues especially when such good progress is being made. The Neighbor surprised me last night with a very sudden shower of affection. I guess after he saw that I wasn't going to chase after him the way some girls do that he'd better turn up the heat on his part. It's so refreshing to find a heart underneath all of that apathic machoness. Anyway, things are a lot better. Communication is 100% better. Whereas before I couldn't even get him to open his mouth. Now, he's picking my brain every 10 minutes, "What you thinking about," as if in 10 minutes I've unraveled all the mysteries of the universe for his listening pleasure. However, this is not a complaint. I'm very impressed with his improvement. His renewed interest in me has renewed my interest in him and has abated my fantasies about the Columbian slightly. I'm still working my ass off to learn Spanish just in case. I just don't plan to run off into the sunset with the Columbian as soon as I expected.

Monday, July 24, 2006

The Columbian

This weekend a little of my heart fell for the Columbian. The major problem with that is that my knowledge of Spanish is close to non-existent, yet I still speak more Spanish than the Columbian speaks English. I shook my head at him Friday night as I spoke to him in broken Spanlish, “How can you live in the States for over two years, and not speak more than two words of English?” He went on to tell me about his Spanish store, and how no Americans ever shop there, so there was never a need to learn English until he met me.

We made a promise to one another that night to learn each other’s language. We even pinky swore to make the pact even more binding, and the Columbian is really taking the process of getting to know one another very seriously, which is so refreshing after the complete lack of communication with the Neighbor. Although the Neighbor is still technically the man in my life, my mind and imagination have already left him after only two short weeks of being together. Now, in my fantasies, it is the Columbian that I see and it’s the Columbian who I imagine spending my future with. Part of me wonders if that qualifies as cheating, because I’m definitely bordering possession of cheating thoughts with the intention to act, which I’m sure add up to about two years of karmic imprisonment. However, the Columbian just may be worth the price.

His dancing is so unlike anyone else’s that it really caught me off guard at first. He doesn’t do many of the traditional turns and whirls, which I used to love so much, but his intricate footwork and sensual way of moving across the floor is enough to hold my attention for hours. I’ve even started to show preferential treatment to my Columbian, much to the chagrin of my former dance partners. For a full two hours, the Columbian was the only one that I wanted. I didn’t even have time to lust after M-BMW who made a surprise visit to Ibiza Friday night. The Columbian was enough for me and just standing next to him was more rewarding than all the empty smiles that M-BMW wasted on me. M-BMW’s fickle ways just can’t compare to the Columbian’s genuine smile. No one else is like him. No one has ever held me so close and made me feel so at peace in their arms. No one else can dance cheek to cheek with me and make me forget the hundreds of people who are staring at us with raised eyebrows. No one else can make me purr at the mere stroke of a shoulder blade. The Columbian is special, and I don’t need to understand his words to know that much to be true.

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Neighbor

I just started a new relationship last week, my first real one in over a year, and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole situation because we are not having the smooth beginning that I hoped for. There's nothing but bad timing between us with endless long silences and a complete lack of any type of meaningful conversation. However, he's managed to charm me in record time, with the fewest amount of words ever used to woo me. So now I'm left at the computer again, writing with a heart full of nervous apprehension, wondering whether attraction is enough to bond, whether all our miscommunications will ever be resolved, and whether all our bad timing can suddenly be turned into blissful harmony.

He lives two doors down from me, yet our close proximity doesn't make it any easier to be together. My two jobs are starting to be more of a hindrance than a blessing, and his social life takes him out more than I originally expected. Yet, he reminds me so much of my X that sometimes it stops me from breathing. On a few solemn occasions, the Neighbor actually sounded so much like the X over the telephone that I nearly said X's name instead of Neighbor's. It's almost eerie how similar the X and the Neighbor are. They have the same voice, the same energy, the same touch, and they even share the same astrological sign. It truly makes me wonder why am I winding up with the same type of man, over and over again. Am I the fool who relives her past mistakes insanely believing that this time will be different or is there some logic to my actions. The neighbor is a completely different person after all and is not destined to make the same mistakes as the X. He could actually be the perfect combination of all the things that I loved about the X without any of the things that broke my heart. However, I'm starting to wonder if I truly like the Neighbor for who he is or if I like him because he reminds me of a past that I don't want to let go of.

Although I love quiet contemplation about these issues, continually turning them over in my head seems to be getting me no place fast. There's only so much comfort the written word can supply because in the end it is our actions that determine the ending. My task for this week is to fill those awkward silences with the sentiments that matter to me the most, and somehow motivate the Neighbor to do the same.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

My New Car

After two years of working like a slave, I have finally saved enough pennies to buy the car of my dreams. As I took a walk around the exquisite Scion xB today, I was as excited as a toddler at the circus, nearly jumping up and down and spinning around in circles. In many ways, my love for the Scion xB is truly bizarre, because I've never been a big car person and taking notice of any particular vehicle is just not something that I typically do. However, ever since the Scion xB came out, I've been lusting after it like the darn car was the most beautiful man in the world, literally applauding every time I would see one drive by. Such an attraction can not be denied, and even though many of friends insist that buying used is the way to go, I simply must go against all of their emphatic suggestions and go with my heart. Besides, all the used cars that I looked at today cost just as much if not more than my new Scion, and it makes no kind of sense for me to spend more for a used car when the new one is so much more reasonably priced.

And to test drive the thing was a dream. It sits up so high from the ground that you can get such a nice view of everything around you, yet it handles more like a car than a truck, which I really like. And the gas mileage is really good running around 30/33 mpg. I mean there are no down sides here, plus I get to customize my car with all the little frivolous trinkets I want like blue back lighting and designer pedal covers. Yes, I'm going to be big pimping in my Scion very soon and I deserve it.

I still have to wait one more month though until I get paid again to have enough money for a large down payment, but the date has been set. August 5th is the day that Kendra gets her new car, and she can hardly wait.