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In my world, the plot is always thickening.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

My Brain is About to Explode!

It was pouring down rain as I drove to my new job today, and I was certain that this curtain of water could not be a good omen as to how the rest of the day would flow. I tried my best to push these negative thoughts aside, remembering how easy most first days are on a new job. However, I would not be so lucky this time. There would be no gentle training process from me, no friendly shadowing of a fellow co-worker. They simply told what to do and threw me in the water, waiting anxiously to see if I would sink or swim. I am proud to say that I was able to keep my head above water more often then not, however, I did shallow quite a bit of water in the struggle.

I’m still shocked at how much responsibility they put on my shoulders on my first day. At my old research job, I had to go through several weeks of training on confidentiality, recruiting, and interviewing processes before we can even talk to a research participant. At this company, however, I wasn’t in the door but 4 hours when they left me alone to consent people to the study, administer computerized tests, answer the phones, and pay the participants for their time. I could have died of fright and of having to absorb too much information too fast.

Besides, my sheer terror about how much I had to do, I'm pretty pleased with my new position. I sat in on two interviews so far, and it was so eye-opening to talk to some of the participants. They have had such terrible things happen to them, such as deaths in the family, rapes, and physical abuse. I can’t even imagine how I would deal with just one of these situations much less all three of them at the same time. I’m both intrigued and disheartened by their stories, and I’m not sure whether being in such an environment will spark my interests or if it will bring me down in to my own little depression. I’ll guess, we’ll just have to wait and see on that one.

My brain is still vibrating from today’s experiences. I’m actually glad to be at my old part-time job this evening. Everything here is so familiar and I can at last relax knowing that for these brief four hours I have mastery over my domain. I must soak up this feeling as much as possible, because in the morning it will be culture shock in a foreign land all over again.

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