To Bide My Time or Make a Change?

For 3 months now, Cat Stevens's song "Father and Son" has been repeating in my head like a broken record, and though the entire song is fantastic, the main verse that I can't let go of is the father's voice who says that:

It's not time to make a change
Just relax, take easy
You're still young that's your fault
There's so much you have know.

There is so much wisdom in what this father character is saying because maybe it isn't time to make a change. Maybe it is better to bide my time in my current job gaining experience and simply enjoying how easy life is. However, I'm afraid that there's so much of that restless son in me that knows that "I have to go away."

Where this allusive "away" might be is the enigma. I thought that maybe I could find what I needed in Nashville, but now I'm not so sure. Jobs that truly interest me are sparse, and the one research analyst job that I was practically salivating over looks like it's going to fall through the cracks. I don't know if they simply don't want me or forgot that I existed, but it's been nearly a month since my "fantastic" job interview with them and I still haven't gotten a clear cut answer from them. I called them last week to see if I was still in the running, and they got my hopes up saying that they want me in a more permanent research position, as opposed to the temporary one I applied for and that they would call me for a third interview soon. I am truly excited about the possibility of a full-time permanent position with benefits, but I'm not that picky. I would have preferred the temporary job if it would of meant starting work two weeks ago, instead sitting around biding my time, hoping that something good will happen instead of making it happen for myself.

Although I like Nashville a lot, I've been thinking that maybe it's just too limited a space for me to grow. So using my good friend Scary as my inspiration, I started to look for other research jobs on idealist.org. It's a little overwhelming how many research jobs are available around the country, and even though the jobs would force me to relocate to D.C., Boston, New York, or Los Angeles, what do I really have to lose by taking a chance on a place and moving?

I know that it's not fear that keeps me here but a feeling that there's unfinished business left for me to figure out, mostly to do with my novel. I know that if I leave now and take on a full-time job someplace as else, that the creative part of me will fall to the side and be forgotten, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up on that dream yet. New York and D.C. will always be there waiting with vacant positions but these dreams and inspirations that come to me so freely now can just as easily become silent in a new environment.

I hate how this youthful restlessness to leave is stirring inside me, but I guess that it's just one product of my age that I will have to ignore for the time being. It takes strength to be still when your heart wants to go and do, and I know that I have power to resist the fleeting passions of my heart who only wants to busy her hands in order to ignore the quiet dreams she let slip through her fingers.