Crazy Days

After 30 days of endless rain, sunshine has finally come out to play, and I’m truly grateful for these cherry blue skies because all that rainy weather, among other things, was really starting to wear me down. From my daily follies at work, to my miscommunications with the men in my life, I felt as if a million microscopic disappointments built up enough to form a visible sadness in me. Fortunately, my sadness went away with those rainy days, and my cheerful self is back to reflect about the happenings in my world.

Everyday at my new job is an adventure, and our research participants are constantly keeping me on my toes. I’m getting used to the depressed and bipolar ones, but the ones with schizophrenia really catch me off guard more often than not. I had one yesterday that made me so uncomfortable that I wanted to run for my life. This person had a fascinating story, but it really seemed like they could snap at any minute and I didn’t want to be there when they did. However, I had one participant today that I adored so much that there was even a bit of attraction on my part. He would tell me about his delusions and hallucinations and I would just nod and think in my head, “That’s okay. I still adore you,” and would admire his lips as he talked and noticed how soft his hands looked. Don’t worry! I’m not so desperate that I would take patients home with me, but that one guy was mighty fine.

Today was especially crazy because there was a bomb threat on the clinic, and we had to evacuate while the police combed the building with dogs and bomb detectors. Evidently, this clinic gets bomb threats a couple times a year from random unstable patients who were unable to get their medications. To this I could do nothing but shake my head in disbelief. What have I gotten myself into people?! I’m getting more and more glad that this job is only a temporary position.

I may complain, but deep down I’m really enjoying this job. The project is so exciting because of how significant the research is. If this study goes well, they will be introducing the new computer software that we are testing this fall in mental health clinics all across Tennessee. Patients will be able to do a quick survey on a touch screen computer before they go in to see their therapist, and that survey will give their doctor a heads up to know how they are feeling that day. It’s really exciting stuff and I’m so proud to be a part of it.