The Fossil Still Manages to Ruin the Day

I’m shaking with fury because the Fossil is a useless old hag that shouldn’t even bother waiting until April the 27th to retire. She should retire today! I hate her!

I know that you should not hate anyone, but I refuse to deny the way that I really feel right now. She is a completely useless artifact that wastes my time and makes the simplest task as difficult as climbing Everest. Today, the lazy bitch tells me that she is not coming tomorrow because she has a dentist’s appointment in the morning. This dentist’s appointment has been scheduled for only God knows how many months, yet she waits until the day before to tell me that she is not coming. Now, I have to reschedule a blood draw and reorganize my entire work week to squeeze in an additional person that was supposed to get taken care of tomorrow. I told the Fossil in as calm as a voice as I could muster that it’s not very considerate for her to give such short notice. The bitch then had the nerve to say that she thinks that she is being very considerate because she could have just called in sick and given no notice at all. I wanted to wring her old shriveled neck. She has gotten spoiled with the flexibility of this job and she thinks that she is entitled to so much leeway. I don’t even understand why the Fossil thinks that she even needs to take the entire day off when she has a morning appointment at the dentist. Most people are clever enough to manage going to the dentist then going to work right after that, but I guess she’s just too daft to pull off such a simple maneuver.

Oh, and she arrived late today as usual, and left early, even better. She does not even deserve a paycheck for the non-existent work that she pretends to do. I could get a volunteer to do be more dedicated than she. Oh, April 27th please come quickly before I accidentally knock her out, while secretly hoping that when she falls that she’ll break a hip and be really jacked up. I’m not worried about jail time, because I know how to plead temporary insanity, but at this point that plea would probably be the truth. She is driving me crazy.

Let’s take some deep breaths now. Inhale. Exhale. Wooshaa! After all, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not really that big of a deal now is it? She will be gone in a month and when I stop to think about it, that lazy monster only works 4 days a week anyway, leaving only 18 more actual work days with her. Surely, I can last for 18 days.

Gosh, I will be the happiest person at that retirement party. I might finally even show them a dance or two, I’ll be so relieved. However, I will not wish her good luck or best wishes. I will never again say a kind word to her or show her any consideration because she has not shown any toward me. She’s at the top of my black list and will stay there for all time because she is a fossil and for some inexplicable reason, not even time makes fossils disappear completely.

P.S. 2 hours later...Yea, for small victories! I told the research doctor, who I endearingly call the Bitch, about what the Fossil did and she agreed that the Fossil should come in tomorrow. She decided to take matters into her own hands and called the Fossil and sorted the whole matter out. I was so proud of the research doctor for using her bitchy nature for a good cause, and I think that such a good deed should not go unrewarded. Therefore, I'm discontinuing her title as the Bitch and renaming her as Mon Petite Chou which is French for my little cabbage. Believe me this is a very suitable name change.