Waiting For Spring

September was by far the worse month ever, filled with scandalous affairs and heated arguments. I just barely survived it all, but now that the drama is done and the dust is finally settling, I feel the need to do a quick reassessment of my goals for this year. I have finally succeeded at finding a decent job that is challenging, entertaining, and pays a decent wage. I succeeded in buying the car that I always wanted. I’ve even succeed at learning a remarkable amount of Spanish in a very short amount of time, partly due to the infamous Columbian, but mostly due to a lot of hard work on my part. However, I have once again failed in my creative exploits, neglecting my novel and even this blog. I’ve also failed by letting my disappointment about the Columbian get the best of me. I just felt so empty after him, and I kept wondering why all of these unfortunate things continued to happen to me. In many ways, I feel like a failure in my social life. My friendships feel shallow. My love life has come to a standstill, and I’m completely clueless on how to make it better. I was aware that I needed to slow down, but I didn’t know why. Strangely enough, it wasn’t until I got a message from a psychic that it all made sense.

I didn’t go to see this psychic myself. My mother went and of course she had to ask about all her children during her reading. All my mother did was tell the psychic our first names, and the lady was able to speak about us with amazing accuracy. She knew that my brother was a teacher. She knew about the difficulties ahead for my sister and her fiancée. For me, the psychic said that I wanted very badly to be in a committed relationship, but that I’m just not ready for it yet. Therefore, everything that I try to create with the Neighbor, the Columbian, or anyone else for that matter is doomed to fall apart. She says that I have too many other interests left to explore, and now’s not the right time for the type of committed relationship that I’m dreaming of. She says that it will happen, which is comforting, but that I still have quite a bit of time to wait.

So many people would have you believe that everything is up to you, that you can go out and make things happen when ever you want, but I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing by making relationship happen. Surely now it’s time to try something different. It’s time to see if good things really do happen to people who wait. Lord knows that patience is not one of my stronger virtues, but I must improve that because it looks like I’m heading toward another cold, lonely winter and for a change, I’m okay with that.