The Trivial Details of My Death

The micro-seconds of my existence slowed down to a standstill earlier today as I almost got into a car accident, and though I'm sure the accident would not have been fatal, thoughts of death consumed me for quite a while afterwards.

Everyone always says that your life flashes in front of your eyes in near death experiences, but that's not what happened to me. The first thing I asked myself was if all of my affairs were in order, and they were so I was able to rest easy on that one. Then, of course, I had to ask myself the infamous do I have on clean underwear question, and once again that was taken care of. However, the third question that I asked myself truly surprised me because it was both trivial and poetic at the same time. I asked myself if I was listening to the best music selection for my death, and the answer to that question was no. I was not willing to die listening to Fiona Apple. I mean I love you Fiona, but the moment of my death is sacred and I'm sure that I could find a better storyteller to play the soundtrack.

I wasn't worried about my music selection solely for myself either. I was also thinking about my family and friends who may find meaning in the details. I remember hearing a poem once by Big Poppa E called, "There's a Hole in My Heart in the Shape of Her Smile that Will Never Be Filled," which is about a friend of his who was instantaneously killed in a very violent car crash. He made a big deal about the CD that was playing in the stereo at the time of the crash, guessing the lyrics she might have been singing along to when she died. To me adding that extra detail to the poem made all the difference in the world. It made her crash less of a statistic and more of the heartbreaking tragedy it truly was. And though once I publish this entry, I will probably never think these morbid thoughts again, I just hope that should I ever die in a car crash that the universe at least let it happen to a good song.